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"Coming to the End of my Self"

          I have been a strong willed person since childhood--never satisfied unless things went exactly my way.  Since I am also a very determined person, when I faced difficulties I always tried to resolve them with my own strength.  I have always been able to overcome hardships through my own effort.  My creed was that if I wanted to do something, then it was my responsibility to see it through.

          When I got married, however, I discovered that both my wife’s and my character traits were strong, and that our priorities were very different.  Because of this, things did not go as I wished most of the time and conflict with my wife was not infrequent.  In spite of this, somehow my wife and I stuck it out.  Last year however, because of a failing on my part, we faced a conflict greater than we had ever faced before.  I realized at this point that I could not overcome this problem with my own strength.  There was no way that I could resolve this huge conflict in spite of all of my effort.  I was wandering around like a sheep that had been separated from its flock.  It was at this time that I picked up my wife’s Bible and began flipping through it.  Up until that time I had only occasionally attended my wife and son’s church, Shimonoseki Christ Bible Church.  I discovered that day that the Bible was overflowing with many verses concerning salvation.


“Take courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”  Matthew 14:27


I didn’t realize it until then, but God was watching over me in spite of my self-centeredness.  Finally, through my wife and son, and through God’s word, He was reaching out His hand towards me in a way I could understand.

          I was able to sense the overflowing love of God through the work of the Holy Spirit.  I asked God to forgive me for the sins in my life up until that point and I decided to be obedient to the teaching of Jesus Christ and to walk in the way in which He desires.  I confessed that I had been living a self-centered life with my back turned against God.  Jesus Christ was put upon the cross and died for the forgiveness of my sins.  He completed this salvation by raising Himself from the grave.  I cannot understand this.  There is much more that I don’t understand, but I have decided to, through the work of the Holy Spirit, to just accept it.  I was able to believe.  I have asked God’s forgiveness for my pride in thinking that I could resolve all of the difficulties facing me.  I am also giving to him all of my struggles in my marriage.  I am confident that God allowed me to marry my wife so that I could meet Him.  I am overflowing with thankfulness for the deep love that God has poured out on me.  I am weak so I know that I will continued to be faced with temptations and fall into sin.  In spite of this I would like to develop a strong bond with Shimonoseki Christ Bible Church and along with my wife and son, continue to grow as a Christian within your fellowship.


“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.”  Psalm 37:3


Finally, I would like to express my deep appreciation for Pastor Tony and each of the church members who prayed for my salvation. Thank you so very much.  I am still a baby Christian, but look forward to walking with you in the future.